My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
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I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
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He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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