chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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