Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize