she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
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He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
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I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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