FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize