70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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