I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize