the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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