she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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