It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
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I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
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Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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