He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
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