imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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