Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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