if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize