i'm lost and i look like a hooker
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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