the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I did not marry a roomba.
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