loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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