this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
tell me about the fingering
Randomize