i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize