Acid is not a monday night drug
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize