Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize