You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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