Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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