worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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