All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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