I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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