I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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