I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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