i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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