i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize