I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize