I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
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I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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