respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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