I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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