she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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