Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Sober January is a disaster.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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