We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
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Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
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It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize