Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize