3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Screwed.edu
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize