I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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