wanna go halves on a baby?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
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He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
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I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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