Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
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Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
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You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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