I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize