I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize