So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize