my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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