I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize