There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blood and glitter go together right?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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