Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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