I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
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