I saw his package. It spoke to me.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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